Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Roommate Wars


My house is disgusting.

For some reason, a select roommate of mine seems to have no home training or common sense at all. And she's downright disgusting.

And she has a terrible weave. Like, really. I swear there are tiny woodland creatures nesting in it.

We can start with the kitchen since it's communal and whatnot.

1. One should clean up after oneself when he or she is done cooking. The stove literally has stuff caked on it that I cannot readily recognize. Brillo pads need to be purchased. The girl also leaves her food out, then warms it up the next day. And eats it. Shudder.

1a. Oil being left out is really gross. especially when it's left in a regular drinking cup next to the stove. What's even worse is when it's left in the skillet or pot or whatever used to cook in. It's also a fire hazard considering we have a gas stove that can easily take eyebrows off when lit.

2. The microwave. OMG the microwave. Were we never taught to cover things when we reheat them you simple bitch?? Her house must be gross, oh wait no. She's only 22 years old so her mother, of course, does everything for her. But back to the icky microwave. There are cheese stalactites hanging from the top of the microwave. The rest of the microwave looks like one of those strange modern art pieces with random paint splashed all over the place.

3. The floor. This smarmy pirate hooker is FOREVER dropping things on the floor and not cleaning it. Once she dropped an entire pitcher of pink lemonade. The floor was sticky for at least a week. I wanna bash her head in with a fucking swiffer...

4. Dishes. SHE. NEVER. WASHES. ANY. And she cooks the most. The other roommates and I are trying to not wash her dishes so that she can get the got damn picture but this shit is like Waiting for Godot (oops, literary reference that only I get?).

Now for the bathroom. We share this bathroom because I definitely got the short straw that was never pulled... but that's a different post for a different day.

But yes, she has not cleaned the bathroom ONCE. It's absolutely ridiculous.

She refuses to put a bag in the trash can and now it's overflowing with her snot rags and weave fragments. And she won't take the shit out. I refuse.

She's also not very inclined to changing the gahddamn toilet paper roll. She'll just leave it or she'll leave a roll sitting on the sink. IT TAKES 12 SECONDS. WTF.

And another issue with the weave is the icky brown gel she uses on said weave. It's EVERYWHERE. Really. I just don't get it. She's the oldest in the house...

Ah! the men. Please don't get me started on the men and how she kept me awake the other night... god.

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