Wednesday, December 31, 2008

NYE 2008 or is it 2009? whatever.

So I'm stuck in boring ass Houston for the ultimate drinking holiday of the year. My brother's friend has a sister my age but I don't know where she is so it looks like I'm stuck with my family tonight.


So, I have decided that I'm getting drunk tonight if I go out tonight or not.

Pass the champagne, grandma.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I'll be home for Christmas...

Even though I can think of about a million other places I would rather be. I mean, family is awesome but coming back home after living with endless freedom and only being bound by your own judgement doesn't seem to get any easier.

For one, I would like to sleep into the afternoon in peace. Without my mother coming to remind that it's almost noon, or searching for towels or whites to throw in with the load of laundry she's pretending to do. She works at home, so she gets away with that kind of thing.

There's also really nothing to do here. No friends, we live in the suburb to end all suburbs and I'm a broke college kid at Christmastime. So at home I stay.

I wanna be in California. Not stupid Texas. Even though I truly plan on hunting down my favorite blogger, Jenny, while I'm here. She hilarious, check her out at

Maybe tonight will be the one night since I've gotten home that I'll go to sleep before the sun comes up. That would be cool.

But in happier news, my grandparents will be here on Monday night. They were supposed to be here last night but they missed their flight so I have to wait. Which was depressing, and gave my mother 3 more days to be a cleanliness warrior fully armed with shamwows and lemon pledge. someone save me.

I gotta go find food. How many borders does a girl have to cross to get some decent Mexican food around here?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Emotional rollercoaster

My love life is to topsy turvy right now...

I feel like soon I'm gonna have to make a decision, a decision that I don't think I can make. It's far too hard.

On the one hand, there's my first. Who I love, but has been so hurt in the past that he can't seem to give me the emotional support and intimacy that I need. So many times he's hurt me and now that I've moved on, he suddenly wants to act like he cares. It's fucking with my mental. Because all along, I knew that the good boyfriend was in him, but he could never fully show it to me. Until now. and it sucks.

The man I've moved on to. Amazing. He's sweet, and caring and attentive. Sounds like the obvious choice right? well, physically, we aren't all the way there. It's not working and I'm not happy. I miss sex with the first, but I can't deal with the hurting and the confusion and the guessing. With #2 there isn't any guessing. He's into me and I know it.

And the part of the whole situation that kills me the most is the fact that there's a third party now. there's no way that we're getting out of this mess with nobody hurt. And I just wish #1 could have come to his senses before I got involved.

I don't know what to do.

Monday, December 15, 2008

It's been awhile

one of the reasons is because finals have been kicking my lightskinned ass. But now they're over and I couldn't be happier. Now I'm in Houston with my family and it's amazing. My grandparents get her on Friday, and I can't freakin' wait. I love love love them!