have you ever wondered...

if artists just did whatever the fuck they wanted and it never really meant anything and art critics have gotten into the habit of trying to figure shit out and the artist is just like, "I put that pig there because bacon is delicious and I fucking love pigs" but people are referencing Animal Farm and Socialism and THE MAN then the artist is just like, "WTF"?

ALSO.

I was watching Taboo the other night about coming of age ceremonies and on the island of Vanuatu the men jump off a huge tower with vines tied to their ankles and plummet face down toward the Earth and they think that this is the origin of modern day bungee jumping and they tell this flowery story of how the tradition originated with some guy trying to kill his wife and she climbed up a tree and tied vines to her ankles and he went up the tree to totally murk that bitch but she jumped and he followed but he wasn't cool and didn't have vines tied to his ankles so he went SPLAT and whatnot when he hit the ground and nowadays the men build a huge tower* and jump off that shit to symbolize that they will never be tricked again(which to me is odd because if it were me I would have the women jump but without the vines to teach their asses a damn lesson).

*In this episode, the tower actually fell and killed a NatGeo camera man and a few of the men who were yet to jump. Which was totally not funny.

oops.

ok. so I was totally wrong about Gary Busey being Kenicky. Jeff Conway is Kenicky. Gary Busey played Buddy Holly. Now I realize why at some points during Celebrity Rehab I was so damn confused... like in the first hour of The Departed. Matt Damon and Leo DiCaprio look freakishly similar.

omg.

so i'm in this strange place and the icky roommie cleaned today so that was good but my head is going crazy and my body is doing weird things and I don't know what the hell is going on with me and I think I'm getting depressed and I told my bff how I'm basically a 20 year old spinster that is doomed to own 38 cats and become a hoarder and by the time I'm 25 I'm gonna have my very own NBC special featuring some distinguished reporter like Lisa Ling about hoarding cat ladies and they'll come in and I'll be wearing a muu muu because I'm a spinster as mentioned before and they're gonna take away my cats because the whole living situation is unsanitary and gross and of course the cats could die in the hoarded clutter and I threaten to kill myself because my cats and 'Days of Our Lives' is all I live for and then they bring Oprah in because Oprah is the queen of getting to the root of people's feelings and by the end of my segment on 60 Minutes I'm healed and they make me over and give me a whole new look but I'm still single and they took my cats so the cycle is doomed to repeat itself and it's just a big mess.





omg. I need therapy.

It's odd when Sunday is the busiest day of your week..

Considering it's technically the FIRST day of the week...


but yeah, my day kind of looks like this:

10:00 a.m: Wake up, go to CVS to get trimming scissors
10:15 a.m: Get eyebrows done. It's starting to look like a persian man's back on the upper portion of my face... it's SERIOUS.
10:45-12:00 p.m: Wash, blow dry, trim and flat iron my hair. Pray for me on this one...
12:00 p.m: House meeting. :-|
12:15: murder sabrina
12:15-12:30: Conclude House meeting.
12:30: Clean Room
1:00: Dallas Kickoff.
1-4:00: Dallas game and pretty time. Pretty time includes my weekly self-mani/pedi. I love myself.

At some point in the day the penis will arrive. Hang with him until he leaves.

Considering how late early it is.. I'll be pooped out by 9. then to bed. I MUST go to psychology class in the morning... my first appearance in 2 weeks...

actually, today really sucked.

I got egged. And now I have a bruise.


I have pictures to substantiate the disgusting roommate claims...



the lovely stove... in the cup, is oil. that will never be used again. In the skillet, is 4 day old taco meat, which will probably be eaten tomorrow. Please notice the speckles of assorted foodstuffs.



that was my coffee creamer, but a rodent has chewed through the plastic. fabulous. gotta love rabies.



the dishes. that haven't been done since Friday... the only thing that doesn't belong to that assmunch is the white plate... see it? yeah.



we don't have a recycling bin... so apparently, it's the smart thing to do if we just leave shit on the floor. :-|

we have rodents.

I swear to God, Allah, Buddha and all other holy beings I will KILL SOMEONE.








wtf.








In other news, my roommate had a seizure today. I met a cute hospital admin. and she got hit on by an interesting nurse. good times.

I'm going straight to hell...

but this is the funniest shit EVER.








that is all.