Have you ever...

said something that could loosely be interpreted as sexual and then out of nowhere, someone that you know but not really decides they wanna take the innuendo and run with it? Then you think the two of y'all are joking and you're play-flirting back and then you realize that this guy is totally serious because he asks where you live and you're all "WTF, when did this happen?"



I'm so there.




And this kid is not even cute enough to be talking to me the way he is. The only thing redeeming him was the fact that he had a cute dog but then I come to find out that he doesn't even have the dog anymore. sigh. I'm going to bed.

This is a blog about pancakes.

Seriously.


I've actually been craving them all week, but somehow in my head they are more work than french toast, so I've had french toast about 6 times this week.

Actually, pancakes make me sad recently. I think it's because I'm so homesick. Making pancakes would make me think of my mom and mommy is so far away. I cried all over the Mother's Day card I sent to her today.

I'm a pussy I know.

Speaking of pussies, have you seen Cassie's? That's the singer, I know most people don't know who the fuck the bitch is, but yeah. it's her. Her funbags and her poon have been floating all over the internet after somebody "hacked into her computer."

Come on now, don't be a whore for propaganda.

At first, it was just her titicacas, then surfaced a photo of her spread eagle with all her piercings gleaming in the light of the webcam.

Jesus, take the wheel.


This is TOTALLY not what I came her to talk about.

I'm gonna make a sex tape. That would speed up this whole 'becoming famous' thing, fo sho.

Pharrell is my favorite :)

I've always been exposed to Mr. Williams, especially in the last few months because a certain person in my life was basically obsessed with him. And oddly, though it would annoy me if it was anyone else, I tolerated and even mildly enjoyed cyberstalking Pharrell through Australia. Just because it made that person happy. Sick, huh?

But I digress. 

It's odd that soon after  that person is out of my life, I fall totally in love with Skateboard P. Mostly because of this lovely display of fuckery in Paris.

I love a man who can make up a song about various foodstuffs off the top of his head. And of course accompany it with an awkward, Michael Jackson inspired dance.

I think I'm in love.

wash that weave and put it right back in that bitch!

I think fake people are great. Cause as soon as you find out how fake they are, you get to royally play their lives. Like my roommate for example.. she's a fake, disgusting, dirty, nasty old weave wearing slore (that's a slut and a whore mixed together, in case you didn't know). I didn't know that at first, but when it all came out our house was like an episode of Keyshia Cole's family fuckery. Living with a slut builds character, I say. But I'm digressing... learning how to weed out bad friends doesn't only train you for the future, but it teaches you a whole hell of a lot about yourself. so embrace it.

It's been awhile

one of the reasons is because finals have been kicking my lightskinned ass. But now they're over and I couldn't be happier. Now I'm in Houston with my family and it's amazing. My grandparents get her on Friday, and I can't freakin' wait. I love love love them!

omg.

so i'm in this strange place and the icky roommie cleaned today so that was good but my head is going crazy and my body is doing weird things and I don't know what the hell is going on with me and I think I'm getting depressed and I told my bff how I'm basically a 20 year old spinster that is doomed to own 38 cats and become a hoarder and by the time I'm 25 I'm gonna have my very own NBC special featuring some distinguished reporter like Lisa Ling about hoarding cat ladies and they'll come in and I'll be wearing a muu muu because I'm a spinster as mentioned before and they're gonna take away my cats because the whole living situation is unsanitary and gross and of course the cats could die in the hoarded clutter and I threaten to kill myself because my cats and 'Days of Our Lives' is all I live for and then they bring Oprah in because Oprah is the queen of getting to the root of people's feelings and by the end of my segment on 60 Minutes I'm healed and they make me over and give me a whole new look but I'm still single and they took my cats so the cycle is doomed to repeat itself and it's just a big mess.





omg. I need therapy.

It's odd when Sunday is the busiest day of your week..

Considering it's technically the FIRST day of the week...


but yeah, my day kind of looks like this:

10:00 a.m: Wake up, go to CVS to get trimming scissors
10:15 a.m: Get eyebrows done. It's starting to look like a persian man's back on the upper portion of my face... it's SERIOUS.
10:45-12:00 p.m: Wash, blow dry, trim and flat iron my hair. Pray for me on this one...
12:00 p.m: House meeting. :-|
12:15: murder sabrina
12:15-12:30: Conclude House meeting.
12:30: Clean Room
1:00: Dallas Kickoff.
1-4:00: Dallas game and pretty time. Pretty time includes my weekly self-mani/pedi. I love myself.

At some point in the day the penis will arrive. Hang with him until he leaves.

Considering how late early it is.. I'll be pooped out by 9. then to bed. I MUST go to psychology class in the morning... my first appearance in 2 weeks...

Roommate Wars

So.

My house is disgusting.

For some reason, a select roommate of mine seems to have no home training or common sense at all. And she's downright disgusting.


And she has a terrible weave. Like, really. I swear there are tiny woodland creatures nesting in it.

We can start with the kitchen since it's communal and whatnot.

1. One should clean up after oneself when he or she is done cooking. The stove literally has stuff caked on it that I cannot readily recognize. Brillo pads need to be purchased. The girl also leaves her food out, then warms it up the next day. And eats it. Shudder.

1a. Oil being left out is really gross. especially when it's left in a regular drinking cup next to the stove. What's even worse is when it's left in the skillet or pot or whatever used to cook in. It's also a fire hazard considering we have a gas stove that can easily take eyebrows off when lit.

2. The microwave. OMG the microwave. Were we never taught to cover things when we reheat them you simple bitch?? Her house must be gross, oh wait no. She's only 22 years old so her mother, of course, does everything for her. But back to the icky microwave. There are cheese stalactites hanging from the top of the microwave. The rest of the microwave looks like one of those strange modern art pieces with random paint splashed all over the place.

3. The floor. This smarmy pirate hooker is FOREVER dropping things on the floor and not cleaning it. Once she dropped an entire pitcher of pink lemonade. The floor was sticky for at least a week. I wanna bash her head in with a fucking swiffer...

4. Dishes. SHE. NEVER. WASHES. ANY. And she cooks the most. The other roommates and I are trying to not wash her dishes so that she can get the got damn picture but this shit is like Waiting for Godot (oops, literary reference that only I get?).

Now for the bathroom. We share this bathroom because I definitely got the short straw that was never pulled... but that's a different post for a different day.

But yes, she has not cleaned the bathroom ONCE. It's absolutely ridiculous.

She refuses to put a bag in the trash can and now it's overflowing with her snot rags and weave fragments. And she won't take the shit out. I refuse.

She's also not very inclined to changing the gahddamn toilet paper roll. She'll just leave it or she'll leave a roll sitting on the sink. IT TAKES 12 SECONDS. WTF.

And another issue with the weave is the icky brown gel she uses on said weave. It's EVERYWHERE. Really. I just don't get it. She's the oldest in the house...

Ah! the men. Please don't get me started on the men and how she kept me awake the other night... god.

Ahhh! It's Gary Busey!!

So I'm sitting up watching Grease and it's at the scene where everyone is at the drive through and the whole world finds out that Rizzo is pregnant with the demon seed of Kenickie.


Suddenly, it hits me. I literally scream at the TV, "OMG. IT'S GARY BUSEY!!!"


Then I thought to myself, "wow. I'm really showing my age." Life is hard at the tender age of almost 20.


It was pretty awesome to figure out what made Gary Busey a celebrity, to correlate with the drug abuse and oddity that makes him famous. Speaking of which, I've been watching celebrity rehab lately. It's touching. But now matter what I still can't help but laugh a Busey. I know it's wrong and that I'm probably going to Hell for it, but whatever. Just like that episode of Intervention with the girl who inhales computer duster. Honestly, one of the funniest things I've ever seen. EVER.

I totally have to be up in four and a half hours but I really can't stop reading blogs and facebooking.


John Travolta is really hot in this movie. Okay, bed now. This is getting ridiculous.