OMG. It's JO!

Oh Hai.

2011-05-25T22:29:00.000-04:00

I'm over here now :)

or www.josapartment.wordpress.com if the link is being stupid.

Memorial Day Weekend!

2010-06-03T13:26:00.002-04:00

So, as I stated earlier, I went an amusement park on Sunday. It was super fun, even though I got suckered into driving. 9 of us ended up there, and of course, I was the only one that got nervous about coasters. I cried in line for one. No, really. I ended up having the most fun on that ride though and I could have gone on it again.

Bf had me feeling super spoiled. He bought me dippin' dots, a pretzel and we ate in a restaurant there... BALLERRRRRRRR! Ilovehim.

On Monday, bf and I had a whole on of running around to do. He had lunch with some old college friends, I had some bbqs to attend and we had to go to his aunt's for dinner then to see my goddaughter.

Now, here is where it gets sticky. His hoopty doesn't have air conditioning so he gets all types of sweaty and gross. My baby, my Altima, Marley has all kinds of amenities. so in between lunches and bbqs I had to go get him and then go to his aunt's house.

But he finally got to meet my best guy friends, Spiph and Ron. I was nervous, but they liked him. whew.

So, all in all, it was a great time.

How was your MDW?

The Perfect Amusement Park polish

2010-05-29T23:28:00.002-04:00

is OPI Going to the Chapel. I love it. It's bright coral pink with a peachy iridescence. It's one of my new favorites. It reminds me of fun and laughs, two of my favorite things. I'm going to an amusement park tomorrow and I know I'm gonna have loads of fun. woot!

I'll post a pic of my nails as soon as i find my camera...

omgi'materribleblogger

2010-05-27T22:14:00.002-04:00

but we all already knew that.

It's been busy over my way. Graduation happened (yay!), bought a car (all by myself), I've moved in with my boyfriend (temporarily), had a baby (my goddaughter, Chloe) and I'm looking to find a job soon (likerightnow).

Currently, my days are filled with running errands and hoping for a call on one of the billions of resumes I've sent out. fingers crossed everyone!

It's super hot in the apartment right now. Like, sweltering. but that's because my bf is getting a cold and I don't want it to get too cold. I wanna stop this illness in its tracks so that we can have fun this weekend. But if not, I'll take good care of him like I always do. So he's been in bed since 9, and I'm lying on the floor trying not to melt, attempting to blog silently and watching the laker game on mute.

And I gotta tinkle. But the bathroom feels reeeeealllly far away right now.

I'm gonna go stick my head in the freezer. Maybe I'll post again later if I don't melt.

and heaven smiled upon me.

2010-05-05T18:17:00.002-04:00

I'm graduating.

Not just graduating but WALKING.

After last week's fiasco I could hardly stand to think about it, but my transcript came in the mail the next day, and Monday morning I was in my advisor's office. I was ready to fight.

Luckily, I didn't have to. And I got my cap and gown today. All smiles.

My mommy is coming into town tonight and I have a monstrous amount of stuff to do before she gets here but I've decided to go see a chick flick with my girls. My mom will understand. Hopefully this movie isn't too long.

The next big deal is finding an apartment, and a job that will pay for it. Le Sigh. My work is never done.

I'll be sure to post pictures from graduation when I have them!

Just Call Me Lazarus...

2010-04-29T23:39:00.004-04:00

It's been nearly a year since my last post. And A LOT has happened since.

I've decided to resurrect this little diddy of a blog because I'm sure I'm going to need it. Plus, I've missed blogging and I think I have a clear idea of where I want this thing to go.

I'm graduating from Howard University next Saturday (hopefully, but we'll get to that later) and I am excited and terrified. I'm gonna take a year off before heading to grad school and I've decided to chronicle the journey through my year off here. I'm sure it'll be difficult, fun, challenging, and new. I'm looking forward to it.

For the first 8 weeks though, I may still be in school.

Today, at 5:21 I received a call from my academic advisor, who told me that I'm missing one of the necessary classes that I need to graduate. I lost my breath. Tears welled in my eyes as I stood in a crowded metro station. I didn't know what to do. Howard is notorious for dropping an H-bomb on your dreams in the 11th hour, but it wasn't supposed to happen to me. I had always had pleasant experiences with the administration, any issues I had were easily taken care of... I wanted to die.

I struggled to keep from bawling as I walked home.. I wanted to run, I just needed to get to my house so the tears could come. I was coming undone.

When I made it in the house, I made a mad dash to my room and searched for the scheme that showed me all of the classes that I had completed... One was missing. My advisor asked if I had taken any humanities classes that might transfer... I couldn't remember. Then, later, it hit me. I HAD taken an art class in High school at the local community college! I just needed my transcripts. Simple! Just a phone call away!

An hour and a half worth of hold time later, I am still without any info. I'm going to try again tomorrow, after I see my advisor in the morning. Wish me luck. My life is hanging in the balance.

My boyfriend asked me why graduating on time was so important, not in a malicious way, he was trying to calm me out of the hysteria I was in. I explained that my grandparents were coming... both sides. My mom's side all the way from St. Lucia. This is all they have ever wanted for me. They pledged to eat bread and water if they had to in order to get me through school. My uncle Robbie wanted it for me. And if for nobody other than me, I do it for him. My family is so proud. I want them to see me walk across the stage. This has to happen.

I'm going to make it happen.

The roomate strikes again...

2009-06-09T19:53:00.003-04:00

I am starving.

But I cannot cook.

Because 1. there are no clean dishes and 2. because there is food in cooking vessels all over the kitchen.

Some of the dishes in the sink have been there for almost two weeks. I saw an ant today. This is no bueno.

Have you Ever...

2009-06-07T22:05:00.001-04:00

gone to Taco Bell and ordered in spanish when the black lady behind the register clearly does not speak spanish and pretended to be very frustrated because she doesn't understand and you're like "dude, this is TACO BELL, why don't you know Spanish???" and then you storm out but then half way home you realize you never got your nachos and then you're temporarily sad again but then you realize it could be worse and you could be the confused cashier?

I have. Because I'm an asshole.

YO. TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO FOLLOW ME!!

If I don't make them a little happier inside, I'll give them $5.

Reason #89345789475 nobody wants me in their religion...

2009-06-07T20:52:00.004-04:00

So i was watching "What's Love Got to do With It" on VH1 the other day and I found it really funny. I know I shouldn't as a black woman who grew up n a home with domestic violence, but I couldn't help it. So I'm laughing as Tina gets her ass beat for not singing the songs to Ike's liking.

Then comes Nutbush.

awwwwwwww NUTBUSH!!!

Cracked out Ike rapes Tina to that song. Rapes her to a song called 'Nutbush.'

Now I don't condone domestic violence and I don't think rape is at all funny but.. shit. I guess you had to be there.

Have you ever...

2009-05-23T02:04:00.003-04:00

said something that could loosely be interpreted as sexual and then out of nowhere, someone that you know but not really decides they wanna take the innuendo and run with it? Then you think the two of y'all are joking and you're play-flirting back and then you realize that this guy is totally serious because he asks where you live and you're all "WTF, when did this happen?"

I'm so there.

And this kid is not even cute enough to be talking to me the way he is. The only thing redeeming him was the fact that he had a cute dog but then I come to find out that he doesn't even have the dog anymore. sigh. I'm going to bed.

This is a blog about pancakes.

2009-05-08T02:00:00.003-04:00

Seriously.

I've actually been craving them all week, but somehow in my head they are more work than french toast, so I've had french toast about 6 times this week.

Actually, pancakes make me sad recently. I think it's because I'm so homesick. Making pancakes would make me think of my mom and mommy is so far away. I cried all over the Mother's Day card I sent to her today.

I'm a pussy I know.

Speaking of pussies, have you seen Cassie's? That's the singer, I know most people don't know who the fuck the bitch is, but yeah. it's her. Her funbags and her poon have been floating all over the internet after somebody "hacked into her computer."

Come on now, don't be a whore for propaganda.

At first, it was just her titicacas, then surfaced a photo of her spread eagle with all her piercings gleaming in the light of the webcam.

Jesus, take the wheel.

This is TOTALLY not what I came her to talk about.

I'm gonna make a sex tape. That would speed up this whole 'becoming famous' thing, fo sho.

I kind of hate myself right now.

2009-04-05T17:56:00.003-04:00

I miss him.

Not the him that cuddles with me, or that texts me just because he was thinking of me. Nope, not him.

I miss the other one. The one that broke my heart, the one that made me cry, the one I gave everything too.

The one that lied to me, that took me for granted and took advantage. The one who made me happiest, then turned around and caused me to feel the most hurt I've ever experienced.

And I feel stupid. Because after it all, I still wish he was here. I wish he was mine. And it still hurts. Hurts so bad.

They say in the end you always think of the beginning.. I'm thinking about the birthday cake I made, the Valentines text I got, the study sessions that didn't have any studying, the late night phone calls, the cuddling, October 24... I want 2008 back. I want him back.

I want us back.

And at the very same time I feel terrible because I have an amazing man in my life who cares about me and I'm really falling for him. Albeit a bit more carefully than last time, but falling nonetheless. And I never want for him to feel like he's sharing me or fighting for my heart because he doesn't have to... which contradicts everything I've said. I hate this.

I just had a thought...

2009-04-01T16:31:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure my best friend, Valerie, hates me.

Well maybe not hates me HOLY FUCK OPRAH LOOKS SO GOOD WITH HER HAIR LIKE THAT!!

I'm sorry. That happens sometimes.

but any way, Valerie has to think I'm a pain in the ass. I mean I move all the way across the country and I call her so I can cry like a blubbering idiot and I know that's gotta be annoying especially when there are so many other fun and awesome things one could be doing and the only reason she keeps me in her life is because she's concerned that I'm a suicide risk and she just doesn't want that blood on her hands.

Speaking of blood, did you know that horseshoe crabs have blue blood? It's because the elemental component of their hemoglobin in copper, not iron like ours.

Star Jones looks like a walrus.

I'm so sorry for this. Please return to your lives as they were, as I'm sure this doesn't even make sense anymore.

I <3 valerie. and oprah. and mexican food. fuck. there I go again.

I need a red bull.

That bitch looks like a salamander.

2009-03-26T23:23:00.002-04:00

:|

I'm not even joking. I would post her picture but that would just cause more drama than it's worth.

ugh. DOWNGRADE DOWNGRADE DOWNGRADE!!!!!!

Is that a lacefront?

2009-03-26T16:16:00.005-04:00

Who knew Trey Songz got his start on Tyra?!?!

please note the silky smooth yaki, freshly sewn in... it's beautiful. Beyaki, take notes.

OW! Tyra looks like she creamed her panties and smelled something awkward at the same time.

Voice even has the Trey face down.

yum.

OH. Around the 1:40 mark it cuts to some white lady repeating the praise Tyra gives herself so you can stop around there.

Or just keep watching if you're into that kind of thing.

Pharrell is my favorite :)

2009-03-25T23:25:00.003-04:00

I've always been exposed to Mr. Williams, especially in the last few months because a certain person in my life was basically obsessed with him. And oddly, though it would annoy me if it was anyone else, I tolerated and even mildly enjoyed cyberstalking Pharrell through Australia. Just because it made that person happy. Sick, huh?

But I digress.

It's odd that soon after that person is out of my life, I fall totally in love with Skateboard P. Mostly because of this lovely display of fuckery in Paris.

I love a man who can make up a song about various foodstuffs off the top of his head. And of course accompany it with an awkward, Michael Jackson inspired dance.

I think I'm in love.

I'm gonna stab him...

2009-03-22T16:51:00.002-04:00

He told me he would be here in an hour... FOUR AND A HALF HOURS AGO.

Inconsiderate bastard.

grrr.

I forgot my damn camera cord...

2009-03-18T11:19:00.002-04:00

so I can't upload the pictures that I took yesterday at the beach! I actually had a lot of fun. I collected shells for Everett, drew in the sand and met a really nice family from Kentucky. I guess there's just gonna have to be lots of pics when I get back to DC on friday. Or maybe not. depends on how much work I can get done and I have a lot to do.

I'm not exactly sure what we're doing today. But the sun is all the way out today and I'm super excited. It's not that warm, only in the 60s, but I'll take it.

bbl. :)

Holy Hell, it's only Monday?

2009-03-16T12:00:00.002-04:00

I totally woke up this morning thinking it was Tuesday and that made me very excited... cause there would only be 3 days left in this 'vacation.' Honestly, I would be content to stay in bed and watch TV all day, that's a vacation to me. But yesterday I was taken on a tour. A tour of what? THE BEACH.

I'm from California. Wtf.

It was so foggy that we couldn't see the beach anyway. I guess.

Then we went to an amazing seafood restaurant and the food was soooo yummy!

It's raining today. It's gonna be cold. I should have gone to Miami. But I'm gonna try my best to enjoy the rest of this trip. On the brighter side of things, I think we're going to the aquarium today which makes me super excited. really. I LOVE animals. That really made my morning.

holler!

Greetings from Myrtle Beach!!!

2009-03-15T00:40:00.003-04:00

So we have just arrived in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. We should have been here hours ago, but it was supremely necessary to spend a few hours in North Carolina in a town called Leland. (Google Map that shit, promise you won't be disappointed.) Then we went to this awesome place called Golden Corral for dinner and it was absolutely fantastic.

I have also decided that my bestie's mom is the worst. driver. ever. I'm from California, I've seen some crazy shit on the roads but this lady has some screws loose. She swerves, stops short, stops RANDOMLY,(like brake lights a mile ahead, slam on the brakes type business) and is just generally not good at it. She was making me carsick with all the extracurricular movements.

The villa is really nice, and I just got a lecture on how timeshares work. Now the bestie and I are in our room watching Bridezillas. Good Shit. Wish me luck for the rest of this week. :)

I'm back!!

2009-03-13T18:50:00.003-04:00

I've been gone for a while, but I'm back. I promise. I've been thinking of new things to do here and how to keep it spicy and I've thought of a few things... for one, I'm gonna start incorporating vlogs... I've wanted to do that for a lonnnng time now but couldn't find imovie on my computer. Don't judge me. But then I found it! On the same day that I found that I could do a quick capture on youtube. But yes. This is the return. I'll be back later with a real post, but for now I gotta go pack. :)

so it's been a while..

2009-02-04T15:19:00.002-05:00

Dearest blog, I apologize for neglecting you so. It's been a rough couple weeks.

Just wanted to say hi.

hi.

that's all.

I'm trying so very hard to keep it together, and I fear I'm failing...

2009-01-23T22:39:00.002-05:00

she's gone.

freak accident on the highway.

Freak Accident on Capitol Beltway

I can't stop watching the video...

she was 5 months pregnant. I don't know what to do. I'm trying so hard to be strong and keep it together but I'm falling apart. The funeral is on Tuesday and I'm so scared for that day because a funeral makes it real. A funeral means that she isn't coming back. I don't think I'm ready for that.

fuck.

and they wonder why I don't believe in God...

R.I.P. Channing Quinichett.
7/6/1987-1/21/09

this whole week needs to be a holiday...

2009-01-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

I reallllllly want to blog about inauguration since I was there and all but I really just don't feel like it right now. boo.

I'll be back later.

Shake them Dreads!

2009-01-15T11:33:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting here watching the First 48 because I got out of lab early and don't have another class until 12:40 which I should start getting ready for... but I digress. Damn this undiagnosed ADD!

But anyway, I'm watching the First 48 and the chick they were interviewing stuck some crack up her butthole when she thought she could get a way with it. But the cameras in the room caught her and she was then cavity searched. After that, the made her take off her WIG AND SHAKE IT.

OMG. It was so damn hilarious I don't know what to do. Maybe that's only funny to me but if you had seen it, you would laugh too.

Lordie. I'm gonna go get ready for class.

WOAH!

2009-01-14T21:09:00.002-05:00

I have a follower!!!! that's nutso! who's crazy enough to follow my blog?? Well not crazy, I'm sure you're amazing. Well you have to be, you're associated with me.

You know, sometimes, when I think of how many awesome blogs there are, I feel like I'm wasting some kind of internet paper or something that could be recycled and used me for something more important.

but whatever. I have a follower. :D

I need a purpose.

2009-01-14T21:00:00.002-05:00

so I've decided that I have no purpose.

Many of my friends blog, mostly fashion blogs. My blog is about my life.

which is pretty damn boring. At least I think so.

I really need to carry my macbook with me, so that I can blog random thoughts. I have so many and i forget so easily cause sometimes my brain acts crazy and I can't stop thinking or moving and everything runs together and then I forget and then I hate myself because I get so entertained by my thoughts and I wanna share them but I have forgotten and then I think about carrying cheesy which is the name of my mac (get it, cheesy mac?) but I need a new battery and he dies in like 15 minutes and what good what that do?

see?

I think I have ADD.

I really want a puppy. I wanna convince someone to get me one.

I saw my spiph today... it was amazing I've missed him so much. And finally my big brother is back. <3 I'm pretty sure this is what I came to post about but in my true form, I forgot.

the golden girls are my life.

2009-01-13T08:55:00.003-05:00

If you don't watch Golden Girls, I don't think we can be friends anymore. If you aren't a fan, go to YouTube, then go to channels and search either The Lanai or Goinggoldenagain (one word). watch, laugh, love.

This shit is hilarious. I want to be that fucking funny when I'm about to take the big dirt nap.

wash that weave and put it right back in that bitch!

2009-01-04T04:43:00.001-05:00

I think fake people are great. Cause as soon as you find out how fake they are, you get to royally play their lives. Like my roommate for example.. she's a fake, disgusting, dirty, nasty old weave wearing slore (that's a slut and a whore mixed together, in case you didn't know). I didn't know that at first, but when it all came out our house was like an episode of Keyshia Cole's family fuckery. Living with a slut builds character, I say. But I'm digressing... learning how to weed out bad friends doesn't only train you for the future, but it teaches you a whole hell of a lot about yourself. so embrace it.

My God, just shoot me.

2009-01-03T16:23:00.002-05:00

I would really appreciate it if people stopped asking me who I'm looking at in the NFL playoffs.

The answer is no one. and the tears that well up in my eyes when you mention the National Football League should deter you from pressing further, but if you're one of those people who doesn't fucking get it, press on. break a young woman's heart.

Of course, more than it already is. I don't even want to revisit in any detail the fuckery that was the Cowboys vs. Eagles game that killed Dallas' chances at the playoffs, because it is far too painful. And if you can't understand then I hope you get sacked by an old lady in the grocery store and then I hope said lady shoves an entire hard salami up your ass because you are a fucktard with no empathy for a football fan in pain.

But of course, there's always next season. Oh yeah, goodbye Tony Romo. You've choked when it mattered most for the last time. Too bad you don't get to play in the awesome Cowboy Stadium. That shit is HOT.

I probably will watch the superbowl, because a true football fan wouldn't miss it, but it's gonna hurt. sigh.

Peeing in a cup takes more skill than one would think...

2009-01-03T00:14:00.003-05:00

I went to the gynecologist today. It was actually mildly entertaining (which should indicate how mind numbingly bored I am) and I had a good time.

My nurse practitioner was named Joni, and she was awesome. she literally yelled "NO GLOVE, NO LOVE" at me with a huge smile on her face while we were talking about safe sex practices. It was great.

I also had to pee in a cup which is easy for normal people but I'm not normal so it ended being an ordeal. QUITE the ordeal. and then I couldn't find the nurse who told me to bring the pee to her so I'm standing in the middle of the office holding a cup of my own pee.

awkward. but whatever.

then I got poked and prodded and Joni and I talked about my "boyfriend" and then I got blood drawn while sitting in a chair that looked like a torture device and the nurse laughed at me when I told her that even though I was totally serious.

My arm still hurts.

So let's hope for my "boyfriend's" sake that I don't get a phone call from Joni. Cause then he will die. She's gonna send me a card if everything's cool though. weee!

NYE 2008 or is it 2009? whatever.

2008-12-31T17:47:00.002-05:00

So I'm stuck in boring ass Houston for the ultimate drinking holiday of the year. My brother's friend has a sister my age but I don't know where she is so it looks like I'm stuck with my family tonight.

sigh.

So, I have decided that I'm getting drunk tonight if I go out tonight or not.

Pass the champagne, grandma.

I'll be home for Christmas...

2008-12-21T00:12:00.002-05:00

Even though I can think of about a million other places I would rather be. I mean, family is awesome but coming back home after living with endless freedom and only being bound by your own judgement doesn't seem to get any easier.

For one, I would like to sleep into the afternoon in peace. Without my mother coming to remind that it's almost noon, or searching for towels or whites to throw in with the load of laundry she's pretending to do. She works at home, so she gets away with that kind of thing.

There's also really nothing to do here. No friends, we live in the suburb to end all suburbs and I'm a broke college kid at Christmastime. So at home I stay.

I wanna be in California. Not stupid Texas. Even though I truly plan on hunting down my favorite blogger, Jenny, while I'm here. She hilarious, check her out at thebloggess.com.

Maybe tonight will be the one night since I've gotten home that I'll go to sleep before the sun comes up. That would be cool.

But in happier news, my grandparents will be here on Monday night. They were supposed to be here last night but they missed their flight so I have to wait. Which was depressing, and gave my mother 3 more days to be a cleanliness warrior fully armed with shamwows and lemon pledge. someone save me.

I gotta go find food. How many borders does a girl have to cross to get some decent Mexican food around here?

Emotional rollercoaster

2008-12-18T00:41:00.002-05:00

My love life is to topsy turvy right now...

I feel like soon I'm gonna have to make a decision, a decision that I don't think I can make. It's far too hard.

On the one hand, there's my first. Who I love, but has been so hurt in the past that he can't seem to give me the emotional support and intimacy that I need. So many times he's hurt me and now that I've moved on, he suddenly wants to act like he cares. It's fucking with my mental. Because all along, I knew that the good boyfriend was in him, but he could never fully show it to me. Until now. and it sucks.

The man I've moved on to. Amazing. He's sweet, and caring and attentive. Sounds like the obvious choice right? well, physically, we aren't all the way there. It's not working and I'm not happy. I miss sex with the first, but I can't deal with the hurting and the confusion and the guessing. With #2 there isn't any guessing. He's into me and I know it.

And the part of the whole situation that kills me the most is the fact that there's a third party now. there's no way that we're getting out of this mess with nobody hurt. And I just wish #1 could have come to his senses before I got involved.

I don't know what to do.

It's been awhile

2008-12-15T04:24:00.002-05:00

one of the reasons is because finals have been kicking my lightskinned ass. But now they're over and I couldn't be happier. Now I'm in Houston with my family and it's amazing. My grandparents get her on Friday, and I can't freakin' wait. I love love love them!

have you ever wondered...

2008-11-26T07:47:00.002-05:00

if artists just did whatever the fuck they wanted and it never really meant anything and art critics have gotten into the habit of trying to figure shit out and the artist is just like, "I put that pig there because bacon is delicious and I fucking love pigs" but people are referencing Animal Farm and Socialism and THE MAN then the artist is just like, "WTF"?

ALSO.

I was watching Taboo the other night about coming of age ceremonies and on the island of Vanuatu the men jump off a huge tower with vines tied to their ankles and plummet face down toward the Earth and they think that this is the origin of modern day bungee jumping and they tell this flowery story of how the tradition originated with some guy trying to kill his wife and she climbed up a tree and tied vines to her ankles and he went up the tree to totally murk that bitch but she jumped and he followed but he wasn't cool and didn't have vines tied to his ankles so he went SPLAT and whatnot when he hit the ground and nowadays the men build a huge tower* and jump off that shit to symbolize that they will never be tricked again(which to me is odd because if it were me I would have the women jump but without the vines to teach their asses a damn lesson).

*In this episode, the tower actually fell and killed a NatGeo camera man and a few of the men who were yet to jump. Which was totally not funny.

oops.

2008-11-24T01:44:00.002-05:00

ok. so I was totally wrong about Gary Busey being Kenicky. Jeff Conway is Kenicky. Gary Busey played Buddy Holly. Now I realize why at some points during Celebrity Rehab I was so damn confused... like in the first hour of The Departed. Matt Damon and Leo DiCaprio look freakishly similar.

omg.

2008-11-24T01:06:00.003-05:00

so i'm in this strange place and the icky roommie cleaned today so that was good but my head is going crazy and my body is doing weird things and I don't know what the hell is going on with me and I think I'm getting depressed and I told my bff how I'm basically a 20 year old spinster that is doomed to own 38 cats and become a hoarder and by the time I'm 25 I'm gonna have my very own NBC special featuring some distinguished reporter like Lisa Ling about hoarding cat ladies and they'll come in and I'll be wearing a muu muu because I'm a spinster as mentioned before and they're gonna take away my cats because the whole living situation is unsanitary and gross and of course the cats could die in the hoarded clutter and I threaten to kill myself because my cats and 'Days of Our Lives' is all I live for and then they bring Oprah in because Oprah is the queen of getting to the root of people's feelings and by the end of my segment on 60 Minutes I'm healed and they make me over and give me a whole new look but I'm still single and they took my cats so the cycle is doomed to repeat itself and it's just a big mess.

omg. I need therapy.

It's odd when Sunday is the busiest day of your week..

2008-11-23T04:01:00.004-05:00

Considering it's technically the FIRST day of the week...

but yeah, my day kind of looks like this:

10:00 a.m: Wake up, go to CVS to get trimming scissors
10:15 a.m: Get eyebrows done. It's starting to look like a persian man's back on the upper portion of my face... it's SERIOUS.
10:45-12:00 p.m: Wash, blow dry, trim and flat iron my hair. Pray for me on this one...
12:00 p.m: House meeting. :-|
~~12:15: murder sabrina~~
12:15-12:30: Conclude House meeting.
12:30: Clean Room
1:00: Dallas Kickoff.
1-4:00: Dallas game and pretty time. Pretty time includes my weekly self-mani/pedi. I love myself.

At some point in the day the penis will arrive. Hang with him until he leaves.

Considering how ~~late~~ early it is.. I'll be pooped out by 9. then to bed. I MUST go to psychology class in the morning... my first appearance in 2 weeks...

actually, today really sucked.

2008-11-22T02:59:00.006-05:00

I got egged. And now I have a bruise.

I have pictures to substantiate the disgusting roommate claims...

the lovely stove... in the cup, is oil. that will never be used again. In the skillet, is 4 day old taco meat, which will probably be eaten tomorrow. Please notice the speckles of assorted foodstuffs.

that was my coffee creamer, but a rodent has chewed through the plastic. fabulous. gotta love rabies.

the dishes. that haven't been done since Friday... the only thing that doesn't belong to that assmunch is the white plate... see it? yeah.

we don't have a recycling bin... so apparently, it's the smart thing to do if we just leave shit on the floor. :-|

we have rodents.

2008-11-22T01:33:00.002-05:00

I swear to God, Allah, Buddha and all other holy beings I will KILL SOMEONE.

wtf.

In other news, my roommate had a seizure today. I met a cute hospital admin. and she got hit on by an interesting nurse. good times.

I'm going straight to hell...

2008-11-20T23:07:00.001-05:00

but this is the funniest shit EVER.

that is all.

Roommate Wars

2008-11-19T13:09:00.004-05:00

So.

My house is disgusting.

For some reason, a select roommate of mine seems to have no home training or common sense at all. And she's downright disgusting.

And she has a terrible weave. Like, really. I swear there are tiny woodland creatures nesting in it.

We can start with the kitchen since it's communal and whatnot.

1. One should clean up after oneself when he or she is done cooking. The stove literally has stuff caked on it that I cannot readily recognize. Brillo pads need to be purchased. The girl also leaves her food out, then warms it up the next day. And eats it. Shudder.

1a. Oil being left out is really gross. especially when it's left in a regular drinking cup next to the stove. What's even worse is when it's left in the skillet or pot or whatever used to cook in. It's also a fire hazard considering we have a gas stove that can easily take eyebrows off when lit.

2. The microwave. OMG the microwave. Were we never taught to cover things when we reheat them you simple bitch?? Her house must be gross, oh wait no. She's only 22 years old so her mother, of course, does everything for her. But back to the icky microwave. There are cheese stalactites hanging from the top of the microwave. The rest of the microwave looks like one of those strange modern art pieces with random paint splashed all over the place.

3. The floor. This smarmy pirate hooker is FOREVER dropping things on the floor and not cleaning it. Once she dropped an entire pitcher of pink lemonade. The floor was sticky for at least a week. I wanna bash her head in with a fucking swiffer...

4. Dishes. SHE. NEVER. WASHES. ANY. And she cooks the most. The other roommates and I are trying to not wash her dishes so that she can get the got damn picture but this shit is like Waiting for Godot (oops, literary reference that only I get?).

Now for the bathroom. We share this bathroom because I definitely got the short straw that was never pulled... but that's a different post for a different day.

But yes, she has not cleaned the bathroom ONCE. It's absolutely ridiculous.

She refuses to put a bag in the trash can and now it's overflowing with her snot rags and weave fragments. And she won't take the shit out. I refuse.

She's also not very inclined to changing the gahddamn toilet paper roll. She'll just leave it or she'll leave a roll sitting on the sink. IT TAKES 12 SECONDS. WTF.

And another issue with the weave is the icky brown gel she uses on said weave. It's EVERYWHERE. Really. I just don't get it. She's the oldest in the house...

Ah! the men. Please don't get me started on the men and how she kept me awake the other night... god.

I had stuff to write about... but my train of thought derailed.

2008-11-19T10:35:00.000-05:00

So I'm pretty much addicted to my new blog. I was thinking about all the cool stuff I could write about last night (technically this morning, when I was up at such an ungodly hour... also the reason I can be blogging right now when I definitely should be in class) but for some reason, it's all gone.

But back to how UBER EXCITED I am about my blog. I don't know why. It's only my second one. But I feel like in my soul it's gonna be awesome. People are always telling me how funny I am so, I figured, why not share my awesome with the whole internet?

Oy. I need a vacation. To anywhere, really. Since the United States has the highest drinking age in the WORLD (What the Hell kind of fuckery is that?), anywhere will do except for Japan and Iceland, both of which will make me wait until I turn 20.

This whole, being young thing is getting kind of irritating. Yet I still kind of love being the baby of everything. But right now it sucks. Everyone is 21 or soon to be 21. All my friends even have to wait for MY 21st bday to go ape shit in Vegas. Actually, I kind of like that. I HAVE THE POWAAAAA! Sorry, control freak moment.

Woah. Happened again. While I was typing I had a great thought and then.. gone. I need some Ginko Biloba or B vitamins or something...

Ahhh! It's Gary Busey!!

2008-11-19T02:22:00.001-05:00

So I'm sitting up watching Grease and it's at the scene where everyone is at the drive through and the whole world finds out that Rizzo is pregnant with the demon seed of Kenickie.

Suddenly, it hits me. I literally scream at the TV, "OMG. IT'S GARY BUSEY!!!"

Then I thought to myself, "wow. I'm really showing my age." Life is hard at the tender age of almost 20.

It was pretty awesome to figure out what made Gary Busey a celebrity, to correlate with the drug abuse and oddity that makes him famous. Speaking of which, I've been watching celebrity rehab lately. It's touching. But now matter what I still can't help but laugh a Busey. I know it's wrong and that I'm probably going to Hell for it, but whatever. Just like that episode of Intervention with the girl who inhales computer duster. Honestly, one of the funniest things I've ever seen. EVER.

I totally have to be up in four and a half hours but I really can't stop reading blogs and facebooking.

John Travolta is really hot in this movie. Okay, bed now. This is getting ridiculous.